Saturday, February 28, 2015

Lunch Tease


This dream came a couple of weeks after the encounter in my last post.  I feel like I'm always waiting, and you are always keeping me needy through our texts between visits.  All of that build up and constant teasing led to this dream...


You texted me first thing in the morning with a Let's have lunch.  Come over at noon.  I was already excited.  The text hadn't woken me, since I was up early thinking about not thinking about you.  It had been a couple of weeks since I saw you and had resigned myself to stop hoping you would be free.  I can feel myself getting wet already and I slip a finger down to feel. For a brief moment, I think about continuing, but decide that I have a lot to do.  I jump in the shower and make sure that everything is perfectly smooth, soft and ready to be touched.  I rub lotions and oils in to keep everything supple and can feel that I am wet again already.  I decide to stay completely nude as I do my makeup and hair so that I am not soaking through my underwear already.  My husband walks by and raises an eyebrow, but doesn't ask what I have planned today.  I smile slyly and say nothing myself.  I select my underwear with care, not that you care.  It's for me.  The matching bra and underwear are cool against my skin and hold me tightly, binding me.  I picked a lace set to hide just how wet I am thinking about seeing you.  It's warm out so I pick a dress. The dress is lusty and definitely not lunch appropriate.

The dream jumps and I am pulling up to your house.  I can hear Take me to Church playing on my stereo as I take second to put your red lipstick on.  As I step out of my car, I can feel how slippery wet I am already and can't wait for you to touch me.  You greet me at the door and your hazel eyes burn into me, I have to look away.  You pull me close, pick me up and pin me against the door.  You kiss me hard and deep and push me harder against the door.  I can feel the molding sweetly digging into my back.  You slide your hand to my legs, currently wrapped around you, and guide them down so that I am standing again.  I hear you breathe into my ear asking if you can check.  I barely get out a please before you are already plunging into me and I feel you grin with satisfaction and you let out a whispered good girl.  And then you let go.  You turn and I am left panting and wondering what you are doing.  You turn back to me and ask me if I'm coming.  We are still going to lunch?!?  Ugh. 

I don't remember a drive or even getting in your car.  We are at sitting in the restaurant and are ordering food.  I'm trying to take you in and not get overwhelmed with need.  You, of course, are staring.  You do this when you know I am avoiding your gaze.  The waiter is gone and we are by ourselves.  And then you start in.  This is not going to be a typical lunch where we talk about mundane things.  You are telling me about the things that you want to do to me when we get home.  Telling me about how much you want to taste my pussy, pin me down and finger fuck me until I explode, fucking and stretching out all of my holes, etc.  I have heard all of it before and experienced most of them, but I can't help but to turn red with desire.  I'm not embarrassed, but I do feel very naughty.  The waiter keeps coming by and I'm still very needy from a little earlier.  I'm silently thanking God that I just ordered some soup because I'm not going to last very long.  It's always torture having lunch with you, having to set across from you and wanting to touch you in public.  This is so much worse.  I feel like I'm being water boarded and cannot breathe.  Pounding me with more and more dreamy thoughts, never giving me a moments rest.  You did not order something light and are taking your sweet time eating while asking me questions about what you are saying and if I want that too.  Deep inside of me, I am throbbing. I am done with my soup, sitting quietly trying to keep my breathing under control and I reply with, "no, I don't want it, I need it."  At this point, I am afraid that there is going to be a huge wet spot when I do get up. 

The next thing I know is we are in your car.  Your hand is innocently in my lap and you are sort of singing along with the radio.  I feel your hand slip under my dress and caress my upper thigh and you can feel just how wet I am as it has escaped the confines of my panties long ago.  You are smiling now, but still singing. I cannot hear what you are signing as I can only feel at this point, concentrating on your hand.  I am willing you to move farther up, but you don't.  Still teasing me.  I am watching you.  You, for a change, haven't looked at me once since we got in the car.  My hand is on yours tugging for it to move closer, but you are being stubborn.  You won't touch me, so I decide to touch you and reach over with my free hand and place it on your cock.  I feel you adjust a little, but you give nothing else up.  You don't stop singing, you don't move your hand. Nothing. So I apply a bit of pressure and do what you won't, gently rubbing.  I do this as until we pull into your garage.  You calmly get out of the car and walk to the house.  You hold the door open for me as I walk in and as you let the door go, you wrap your arms around me and pull me in.  Then you kiss me deeply. 

That was it.  I never got to go back in the bedroom.  Needless to say I was ready to go when I woke up this morning.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Monday, February 23, 2015

Airport Drop Off


This was the first dream I ever wrote up for Jay, but not my first homework.  I'm skipping to this today because he is leaving town and as much as I want to drop him off this morning, I can't. 

So in my dream… it had been several weeks since I last saw you and you were leaving again, so we had arranged for me to take you to the airport. I woke up in need, fucking wet and practically panting from the anticipation of getting to see you, even if it would be short lived. It was warm out so I picked out a dress to wear and decided that I would make this as hard for you as it would be for me, so no underwear. I jumped in the car raced over as carefully as I could with my mind already occupied with what could be.

I pulled up to your house, got out of my car and waited for you to come out.  Just seeing you again in person was intoxicating enough and as I took a moment to breathe you in, I could already feel this was going to be much harder for me than I thought. You climbed in the car and as I climbed in I made sure to hike my dress up just far enough that it was clear that I wasn't wearing anything else. You asked and I smiled naughtily and confirmed that I was bare. Your look became heated and asked if you could feel. I confidently said no. I knew I wouldn't be able to stop if we started and I needed to be able to drive. I remember having to physically pull your hand away which was pure torture.

I don't remember any of the drive though. Then all of a sudden I was driving though the parking garage looking for an empty space. I couldn't just drop you off at the curb because I really had to be kissed and preferably hard. It hadn't been discussed, but you weren't complaining. I found a place near the back, pulled in and turned the car off.  We had some time, but not much.

By the time I parked, you were already reaching over to touch me. I leaned over to accept my well-deserved kiss, and you asked for permission to feel me. Before I could say anything, your hand was already finding and entering me. As a small sound of intense pleasure escaped me, I could feel the smile spread across your face. You clearly owned me and whispered so in my ear. Then ordered me in the backseat.

We both got out and as I did, I could feel my wetness running down my legs. It wouldn't take long for me. Before I could even get settled in the back, you already had your hands in my hair pulling me back and down to the seat. I was completely lost until your other hand found what it needed and you started to finger me. I can't even adequately put into words the power of that simple touch.  I released your neck and found your cock. I unzipped your pants and release your shaft. We still had to be very careful since you needed to keep clean for your flight, but I had a deep need to be penetrated, and needed it quickly. You let go of me and spit in your hand to get things moving closer to the edge for you. I watched intently, mesmerized by you pleasuring yourself. It wasn't long before I couldn't stand it much longer and brought my head forward to greedily take you in. You were about to ask me to do so anyway, but since I beat you to it, I had to take a second to smile with my own satisfaction. You were so fucking hard and soft at the same time I couldn't stand it. I started to suck harder, moving up and down the shaft, pulling you closer and deeper. I heard your breathing change and your hands were in my hair again to hold me still and suddenly I was tasting your sweet salty cum in my mouth.  I'm pretty sure I heard you say fuck and then I woke up.


Saturday, February 21, 2015

A little bit more


I thought I should talk a little bit more about what happened between that happy hour and our first real encounter.

A few short days later, I celebrated 12 years of marriage with my husband.  If you could call it celebrating.  I made him go see Gone Girl with me.  If you don't know why that's funny, go look up what the story is about.  He had wanted to take a trip, just the two of us, but I just wasn't in a place where I wanted to be alone with him.  It's been like this for about 2 years now.  This has little to do with my time with Jay, but thought you should get an idea of where my mind was at the time.

Jay and I talked a bit more by facebook until we ventured into text.  Conversations were pretty light.  How our days were going, what the kids were doing.  Lots of questions about each other.  There was a lot to learn.  I'm a pretty complex person, and I keep a ton hidden from everyone.  I'm sure everyone does.  A second happy hour was set up, although far fewer people were in attendance.  After all, it was just an excuse for us to see each other.  This time, far less drinking and I was way more nervous.  I honestly couldn't tell you what we talked about that evening, other than a brief conversation about me catching him checking out my boobs, which were nowhere near as concealed as the first time.  We all got up to leave and Jay asked for a ride to his car.  Jenny, Jay and I walked to the garage pretty casually, but I was already freaking out just a little.  Jenny walked on to her car and Jay climbed into mine.  I did manage to get him over to his car without hitting anything, but I was pretty distracted.  He leaned over to give me a hug and I was lost in his smell again.  I really wanted to kiss him, but I was just too conflicted.  A part of me just wanted him to take it from me (he was certainly strong enough and confident enough to have done it, but as I would later learn, he just isn't like that).  And the other part of me was still not ready to cross that line.  Later, he flat out asked me, "What if I kissed you?"  I didn't have an answer, at least not one that I could convince myself of being the right one.

After that, the texts were more frequent and less guarded. He's a picture taker, so there are a ton of pics of pretty much everything, not least of which is himself.  Which I thoroughly enjoy.  More just sharing our days. A couple of missed opportunities to meet up again, but at that point it wasn't that big of a deal to me.  Still conflicted of course.  About a month after we met the first time, our texts became much more sexually charged.  Jay had a dream about me where he could ask me anything and I had to answer.  He said it was very erotic, and then jumped straight to asking me when the last time I came was. It was jarring to say the least.  I wasn't used to someone being so upfront and asking what he wanted to know.  He pushed a little more and said he wanted me to cum that day, and then started to apologize when it was pretty clear I was uncomfortable with the question or the request.  No one wants to admit it has been a very long time. He backed off for several days.

I knew he was on a trip anyway, but I didn't want to stop talking.  When I knew he would be back in town, I reached out.  Something silly about a book I was reading about the power of being quiet.  That broke the silence and we slid back into easy conversation.  A couple of days later we finally had a chance to meet for a quick drink.  Just the two of us.  It was nice outside so we sat on the patio.  It wasn't as easy as our conversations by text.  The first thing he told me was that he was moving.  It was a great opportunity and would give his kids some distance from their crazy mother.  It was easy to talk to him about that.  Not so easy when the conversation turned to me and became more sexual in nature.  Me being me and hating talking about myself, still being so completely conflicted about the whole thing.  When I had to go, he walked me to my car and leaned in to give me a little kiss on my cheek.  I thought I was going to explode.  I wanted to pull him back in to kiss me properly.  Instead, I just shut the door and went back to get my daughter.

We texted almost immediately about the encounter. It was intense.  That was a second missed opportunity to kiss him.   I had talked to Jenny about him after the second happy hour.  I knew he would accept the kiss, even wanted it, but I wasn't sure if I did.  Or at least everything that would come with that kiss.  Jenny's advice?  Fuck him, he's hot.  Super helpful.  I flat out told him I should have kissed him.  I'm sure he felt the confliction in me and he never pushed me.   In that conversation though, I knew I had made my decision.  I was going to cross that line and as soon as possible.  We set up a lunch for the next week.

The morning of that lunch date, I woke up at 5am panting with anticipation.  There was not going to be another missed opportunity.  I just kept picturing in my mind walking in the door, dropping my purse, and flat out begging for him to kiss me.  He intimidates the fuck out of me though, so when I really did walk in, I barely even made eye contact.  Some work issue came up and I walked in irritated.  I just stood there awkwardly telling him about the problem.  He pulled me in and gave me a hug and I burried my head in his embrace.  My subconscious was screaming that I was going to blow this opportunity too.  Then I looked up at him and we kissed.  I'm not going to write about that kiss.  It's all mine.  I've talked about it with him many times since and it still makes me wet, weak in the knees, and changes my breathing just thinking about it.  What you need to know is that it was full of frustration and lust that had been building for a month.  It was the type of kiss that makes you forget just how fucked up your life is.  When he was done (I say he, because I sure the hell wasn't done), he pulled me away from the wall and led me to car to go out to lunch.  The most frustrating lunch I've ever had.  Wondering if that kiss would be all we do that day, if I even cared it was so good.  Fuck that, of course I cared.  I wanted him badly by the time lunch was over.  We did go back to his place and continued where we left off.  I'm not going to talk about that either.  Just know that it was fucking hot.  He is fucking intense in bed, knows exactly what he's doing, and does it with a sense of confidence that blows my mind.  He pushed me harder and farther than anyone else ever had before.  There was a lot I hadn't told him about my past that I felt effected every part of that interaction though.

When I left, I was lost in thought.  I felt everything and nothing at the same time.  I crossed the line, and I knew then that I wanted to do it again and again.  At the same time, I felt like a big piece of me didn't exist anymore.  I've always been a loyal person, even to a fault.  I can't ever say that again.  The thing that bothered me most was that I was more worried about how it made me feel about myself than I was about how much it would hurt my husband to find out that I cheated.  That made me feel worse.  Jay immediately wanted to talk about it, hear my thoughts.  You'll find that is a running theme in our relationship.  I was so far into self-loathing that I'm pretty sure made him feel like I felt like it was a big mistake.  The thing is, I didn't feel that way at all.  Text is no way to deal with this type of situation.

The next morning I asked if we could meet to talk.  And we did. It was very long, deep and intense, but by the end of it I knew I was hooked.  This was not going to be what I thought it was going to be, but I was in.  He now knew more about me that anyone else in my life, and I was oddly ok with it.

From that point it's been pretty full on.  I start my days with a good morning text from him and end my days with a good night text from me.  He travels a lot, so I see him when I can.  In between we stay in touch through texts that are constantly swinging between sharing mundane parts of our days to full on lust filled texts.  He loves to give me homework while he is gone and most of the stories that you will read in this blog stem from those assignments.

Friday, February 20, 2015

And so it begins


 I met Jay in late summer of last year. This blog is a collection of our encounters, the dreams I have of him, and possibly random thoughts about our not so traditional relationship.  This is how our story begins....

I received a text from my friend Jenny.  She's having a happy hour for a friend of hers.  It's his birthday.  I have met Jay once before, but other than being extremely good looking and a great dad, I wasn't left with much of an impression.  I haven't been in the mood to go out in months, but I also haven't seen Jenny in ages so I agree to go.  The day is warm and I feel more like myself after a long day of training.  I run home to grab my daughter from school, leave her with my husband and freshen up.  I've been training so I'm pretty put together already.  Jeans that hug my body, a sweet polka dotted top that hides my large breasts and a pair of high heel boots.  Last check of the lipstick and I'm off.

I arrive at the restaurant and I can hear the party I'm looking for from the door. I see Jenny and walk over.  She stands and gives me a big hug and then her husband takes his turn.  I turn to the man of the evening, who is also standing to greet me.  I recognize him immediately, and I don't at the same. He is tall, dark eyes, and slightly unshaven.  He is a big guy and his shirt is tight enough that I can see how solid he is. I'm struck with how he didn't make a bigger impression on me last time. He wraps his arms around me to give me a polite hug and I am enveloped by his smell.  I shyly wish him a happy birthday and he returns a thank you.

A chair has been pulled up for me sort of at the head of the table between Jay and Jenny's husband.  There are a few other people, some I know and some I don't.  We jump right back into the conversations.  The conversation swings from all of our children, to the dating scene when your older, to making sure you wash your face after you eat pussy.  This is exactly what I needed after the last couple of weeks going round and round with my husband.  I just want to have easy conversation.  This is made much easier by the constant rounds of margaritas. Every time I want to bow out, there's another one already sitting in front of me.

Throughout the evening, Jay and I end up having little private conversations.  I hear him end each little side chat with, "So we have that in common."  He's not wrong and it echoes through me every time he mentions it.  Both of us doing very well, despite having twisted childhoods.  We are both the caretakers of the people in our lives.  Always there for someone when they need it.  We both order the same food.  I'm not a person that finds conversations with people I don't know easy at all, but this is very easy.  I find myself wanting to share things with this man, but I do my best to hold back.  The most difficult thing about talking to Jay is eye contact.  I shy away from it and he seems to need it.  Moving to catch my eye and then not giving it up. 

At some point in the evening, we have a small conversation about cheating, and if it can ever work out. Jenny and her husband are a product of cheating and he points to them as a couple it seems to have worked out for.  I'm not that convinced.  It's an uncomfortable conversation for me as I have been struggling with this for almost 2 years.  I've never crossed the line though and don't like to dwell on the thoughts when I am having trouble wanting to engage with my husband at all.  Thankfully, we move on quickly and rejoin the group conversation.

It’s getting late in the evening and the margaritas are in full effect.  Jay casually asks if I need a ride home.  I thank him, but politely turn down the help.  Truth is, I need a ride and it's probably going to get worse on the drive home, but I don't trust myself at all right now.  We all give our hugs goodbye and I really just want the chance to be wrapped in his arms one more time before I go home.  It's warm and strong and doesn't last nearly long enough.

I do make it home, but it was a stupid thing to do for sure.   I feel the need to talk to him just a little more.  Plus, there is something telling me he'll want to know if I made it home ok.  I find where Jenny has checked us in and pull up his facebook profile to send a quick friend request.  Immediately it is accepted with a message letting me know he was going to check on me and I feel a warmth spread through me.  This is going to be trouble.